It's been a while...

I don't know why i'm doing this but for some reason i decided to have a little look back at my blog and i feel bad for neglecting the poor thing, so, here i am. In the time i've been gone a lot has gone on in my life, i passed my driving test second time round and am now, some how, driving a BMW, i've completed my A-Levels, not necessarily successfully, and i have decided to move to cambridge to live with my boyfriend. I now work full time at a cafe i first started out at as a weekend worker when i was sixteen and now, at the ripe old age of 18, i am a full time, 5-day week worker and i am just struggling through each day having to remind myself that i need this money. i need it to escape from the monotony of life here but am i ever going to excape this monotonous way of life? From now on all i plan to do is work, have a career some day but i fear, if i am getting tired of it already, what does that say for my future? Maybe i just need to find a job that i love, but i don't know how to work out what i'd love to do for a living in all honesty. I wonder and wonder if i should have made more of an effort towards going to uni, but i fucking hate studying and i never have liked it so the fact that i got myself into a position where uni wasn't really an option,has probably stopped me from making what could have been a massive mistake for me...i can safely say that for the time being, i am so enjoying a life without deadlines, without exams and without fucking teachers breathing down my neck. For now, i'll take the simplicity of my life for granted cos i know, it ain't gonna last for long :)

i'm a learner, haven't you heard?

ROOKIE

yesterday i failed my driving test. for some reason, i ended up downloading an app for chatting on my phone, creating a twitter account and feeling an urge to get back on to my blog. i don't know whether it was like some compulsion to have power in other areas seeing as i couldn't change the outcome of my driving test...or whether i just needed a few different social outlets to distract me from my disappointment. yesterday i got that feeling, that one from your childhood, when all you've got is your toys and you just wish you could bring your doll or your teddy to life and make the imaginary stories and games you immerse yourself in become reality...yesterday i needed a lot of things to become reality, i needed that pass in my driving test, i needed my boyfriend to walk through that door and cuddle me til i stopped crying...and i needed a bloody time machine to be real!!! alas, all i had was a video of a beautiful little polar bear cub orphan to remind me that i had my family and they did a great job of comforting me.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-16295287

New York.

this year i went to new york for six days and it was incredible, i want to be back there more than anything. peanut m&ms...I MISS YOU!

memories.

 recently i've realised that my bedroom is just a large collection of memories, photos, posters...just like little things that remind me of the good times, the little top of the bottle of cava that we had on prom night, the bag of  uncle ben's rice that anton brought round once just in case we got hungry, the little note with all the events of summer 2010 that molly and i made together in paris, friendly fires' drumstick that we caught at a festival...and i kinda wonder whether i should be starting a blank canvas after all the things that have changed...is it weird that i still have so many reminders of the past, things that are so obviously an indication of the past, reminders that these people in the photos are just the past for me now? i look at these things in my room and i rarely look at them and reminisce, i look at them and they just make me ponder whether things have changed for better, or for worse and i wonder now whether i want to look up every morning and be reminded repeatedly how i won't live moments like those, with those people ever again...

today i learnt...

today i learnt what milk duds are. i thought they'd be a milky treat but i was wrong...
(sometimes i feel bad for not reading the appeals at the top of the wikipedia pages...but i still don't read them)

my first post...lickle bubba.

today, i bought some new additions to my wardrobe and i mention this because they were all products that i would never have considered purchasing in the past, big black boots lined with fur, a black leather biker jacket with a fur collar and a jumper with a huge tiger face on...and i got home on a high from all this shopping and thought well if i can branch out in fashion then why can't i take a step up and start a blog and i was particularly inspired by my lovely friend saira's blog, it's wise, funny, just generally entertaining (http://neverbelievedyouonlywantedto.blogspot.com/) and i just figured...why can't i do that? well...i can :D so here goes nothing, welcome to my blog fellow bloggers i.e saira, steph, elena...go wild (;